They looked in the White House and Capitol Hill
They looked everywhere for Buffalo Bill
We called every scholar, reporter and genius
Has anyone seen the President's penis?

It ain't in the White House or Judiciary
It ain't in the Smithsonian or that big ole library
An astronomer claims it was sighted on Venus
Has anyone seen the President's penis?

The President's penis is missing, ole
We searched high and low, every night, everyday
Lord, won't You come down and redeem us
Has anyone seen the President's penis?

Now Presidents have goofed up in all kinds of ways
In the 80's we elected one or two missing their brains
And George Washington caught a cold, he couldn't quite explain
We all just learned the truth about Thomas Jefferson's name

And Franklin D. Roosevelt wasn't no square
With that raging Woodrow in his wheelchair
And all the lesbians snickered that Elenore didn't care

And John Kennedy's penis was seen everywhere

The President's penis is missing, ole
We searched high and low, every night, everyday
Lord, won't You come down and redeem us
Has anyone seen the President's penis?

Them outer space people would laugh if they'd seen us
All this talk about cum-stains and oral coitus
Meanwhile the whole world suffers from hunger and meanness
But we're more concerned with the President's penis

The President's penis is missing, ole
We searched high and low, every night, everyday
Lord, won't You come down and redeem us
Has anyone seen the President's penis?

Lord, won't You come down and redeem us
Has anyone seen the President's penis?